As a show of their gratitude for turning on President Trump, Washington democrats all pitched in and bought John Bolton his very own nuclear warhead.
“Why are you here? No comment,” a grumpy Bolton initially said as he saw several prominent Democrats gathered on his porch. But when he learned what they had brought him, he quickly changed his tune.
“Golly Gee! A nuke? For me?!” Bolton asked as he ran over to a brand new MK/B53 nuclear warhead.
“Yes, Johnny. For you. You did a real good job by selling out the Commander in Chief for a small book deal. Really fine work, my boy,” Chuck Schumer said smiling as he watched Johnny run his hands along the huge green weapon of death.
“I’ve… I’ve always wanted one of these! How did you know?!” Bolton asked.
“Well, since 1977 you would explain how all you wanted was your own nuke in every public statement, so that’s how we knew,” replied Schumer.
Bolton then began jumping in place begging to use it now. He went into a lengthy justification for using the nuke against a small farming town in New Brunswick. “If I don’t act now, we’ll soon have to fight those cabbage farmers on American soil, you guys!”
“Now, Johnny. After breakfast,” Schumer replied placing his arm around the 71-year-old as they walked back in the house. “You can go nuke the cabbage farmers after breakfast.”