During the impeachment hearings, Justice John Roberts was forced to remind each party to save their more explosive fighting words for Facebook. “HEY! Don’t make me bring Kavanaugh over here! I can tell you some of that stuff the democrats accused him of is legit—so straighten up! All this nasty fighting needs to go where…
Category: Breaking News
Bloods to Absorb the Yang Gang
The fellas over at the Bloods have announced they are finalizing a deal to absorb Andrew Yang’s followers, known as: The Yang Gang. As membership in the Bloods dwindles and Andrew Yang’s candidacy has stalled, the Blood’s head recruiter, Lil’ Cruiter, approached Yang to discuss the acquisition. “I’ll be honest, I wasn’t thrilled to lose…
After Hillary Attacks Him, Bernie Sanders DESTROYS Her by Trembling With Fear & Begging for Mercy
In her documentary series titled: “The Beast Returns!” Hillary Clinton took an unprovoked shot at Bernie Sanders. “Nobody likes him. He’s a career politician. He’s got a lumpy butt,” Clinton explained. Because Sanders allowed himself to be steamrolled by Hillary and the DNC in 2016, the Vermont senator viewed this as a perfect opportunity to…
Sales For Mike Pompeo’s Cereal Suffer in Iran
Recent reports show sales for Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo’s cereal line to have curiously slowed. “PompeoO’s”, normally a staple on Iranians breakfast tables, are suffering record low sales in the region. “Sales have plummeted,” explained the local rep. “I can’t blame the economy because we don’t have an economy, but something’s happened. Not sure…