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Bloods to Absorb the Yang Gang

Bloods to Absorb the Yang Gang

The fellas over at the Bloods have announced they are finalizing a deal to absorb Andrew Yang’s followers, known as: The Yang Gang. As membership in the Bloods dwindles and Andrew Yang’s candidacy has stalled, the Blood’s head recruiter, Lil’ Cruiter, approached Yang to discuss the acquisition.

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t thrilled to lose my following, but Lil’ Cruiter made me a fair offer,” Yang explained. “He told me I can give him my members or he’ll put a cap right in my ass.”

Members of the Yang Gang may have quite the culture shock as they are forced to leave their jobs and families to join the vicious group on the streets of Los Angeles.

“Hey, wait a minute,” a Yang Gang member interrupted during the initiation process. “I only wanted to support a democrat with business experience who was fiscally competent. But now I have to kill Crip? Who’s Crip?”

Although many of Yang’s former followers lack the hand coordination for the gang’s hand signs, the Blood’s leadership was impressed when many of them arrived at orientation wearing hats they believed to say: “METH”.

Despite the rocky start, the acquisition seems to be going well. Yang’s group explained how a compass tool was excellent for drawing precise circles and arcs, while the Bloods explained how it could also be used to stab rival gang members in the eye.

“I’m learning a lot,” said Ken Peters formally of Fort Collins, Colorado. “The guys are a bit too pro-second amendment for my taste, but I understand compromises need to be made in any acquisition. Plus I’m working with my hands a lot more.”

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