In her documentary series titled: “The Beast Returns!” Hillary Clinton took an unprovoked shot at Bernie Sanders. “Nobody likes him. He’s a career politician. He’s got a lumpy butt,” Clinton explained.
Because Sanders allowed himself to be steamrolled by Hillary and the DNC in 2016, the Vermont senator viewed this as a perfect opportunity to show the nation he was no longer a pushover. So when he heard of Hillary’s attack, he ran into a supply closet, screamed “I’m sorry!” and wet his pants.
To those unfamiliar with the interworkings of Washington politics, you might think Sanders’ response looked weak and show him to be incapable of being commander in chief. But many in D.C. are calling his reaction brilliant.
“You see, that’s a response the Bernie Bros can get behind,” Chris Matthews explained. “The most important way to show strength is to not become dead. Dead people are notoriously weak. By avoiding Hillary’s wrath, Sanders is showing the nation the ultimate strength.”
Update: Shortly after asking a staffer to pass him a fresh pair of pants, Bernie slowly exited the supply closet. With his eyes wandering, looking for a lurking Hillary, Sanders quietly admitted, “I… I think my wife likes me. And she doesn’t seem to mind the lumpy butt all that much.”