It’s nice to finally hear some good news, and we got some late Tuesday. The leaders of the Taliban are insisting Afghanistan host the 2022 WNBA All-Star game to prove their newfound inclusiveness towards women. “Bring them now to us,” a Taliban leader firmly said. “The jumping women who always bounce ball off foot–bring them here immediately.”…
Category: World & Weather
White House Braces As Taliban Reaches “Objects To Mask Mandates” Level Of Danger
Team Biden knew the Taliban was rough, but they had no idea they would reach the dreaded Objects To Mask Mandates level of bad. At Biden’s direction, the Department of Homeland Security recently updated the famous, color-coded chart to properly designate the world’s most wicked threats. Naturally, Questioning the 2020 Election would be the last possible…
US Military Storms In To Help Cuban People After Hearing They Only Know 2 of the 63 Genders
After hearing the country of Cuba only knew of two of the sixty-three genders, over 600 U.S. pilots used CH-47 heavy-lift helicopters to transport critical equipment and combat vehicles to the island. The scale of the invasion was record-breaking and ‘totes necessary,’ claimed Biden’s ultra-woke General, Mark Milley. “I’m not usually too emotional, but when I…
Dr. Fauci Wrote ‘Next Year’s Pandemic’ In Memo Line Of 2019 Check To Wuhan Lab
We all know Anthony Fauci showered the Wuhan Lab with American tax dollars and Edible Arrangements from the nearby wet market. But you may not have known that the doctor wrote “next’s year’s pandemic” in a 2019 check memo line. Rival Rand Paul questioned Fauci about the matter on Monday. “What the [explicit] is this…
Pangolin ‘Likely Responsible’ For Soaring Inflation Joe Biden Says
Inflation is getting so high even Hunter Biden is worried. But his father has already determined why it’s happening. “Look, we all know what’s going on here, folks,” Joe Biden began. “It was a Trump-supporting pangolin who set off a chain reaction that my administration is now dealing with. I think he was licking himself or something and…