We all know Anthony Fauci showered the Wuhan Lab with American tax dollars and Edible Arrangements from the nearby wet market. But you may not have known that the doctor wrote “next’s year’s pandemic” in a 2019 check memo line.
Rival Rand Paul questioned Fauci about the matter on Monday.
“What the [explicit] is this bull [explisit]?” Paul asked, holding up a large corkboard image of the check.
“Senator, I can almost assuredly claim that this check is probably not what you either unintentionally or intentionally, think it could be,” Fauci replied with sweat pouring down his face.
That perplexing response prompted Rand Paul to slowly walk over to the doctor and break the large check over Fauci’s head.
“Ouch!” Fauci said, grabbing the top of his head. “Are you crazy? You nearly made me forget all the science! I need medical attention. Quick, someone bring me a mask.”
After Fauci strapped twelve masks to his head, he yelled, “I’m healed! Thank God I still remember how to epidemiogize!”
He then tried to explain further why he wrote ‘next year’s pandemic’ in the memo line.
“It’s not what you think. I didn’t write that so they’d make a deadly virus,” he said, still rubbing his head. “I only wrote that so the Democrats could get rid of Trump. Ya, see? It was for a great and virtuous reason. Can I go now? I am a very busy medical professional. Plus, I have a Vanity Fair photoshoot at 1 pm.”