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White House Braces As Taliban Reaches “Objects To Mask Mandates” Level Of Danger

White House Braces As Taliban Reaches “Objects To Mask Mandates” Level Of Danger

Team Biden knew the Taliban was rough, but they had no idea they would reach the dreaded Objects To Mask Mandates level of bad.

At Biden’s direction, the Department of Homeland Security recently updated the famous, color-coded chart to properly designate the world’s most wicked threats. Naturally, Questioning the 2020 Election would be the last possible tier of horror.

“If they ever reached that level, we would drop like a hundred nukes on them,” Biden said sternly. “People have no idea how hard we worked to get all those votes. No idea. Questioning that would be the gravest war crime known to man.”

But despite Joe Biden’s rich understanding of foreign policy, the Taliban remains out of control under his watch.

“We’re firing off all the hashtag campaigns we can think of, but the Taliban is not stopping!” Susan Rice frantically screamed. Some of the unsuccessful hashtags tried were:

 #ThisIsNotWhoYouAre

#StompOutStompingUsOut

#We’reGayForMuslimTeaching

#WhatWouldKaepernickSayAboutThis?

#NoOneNeeds2millionAK-47sToKillADeer

#StopItOrWe’llSendKamalaOver

Update: Actually, that last hashtag seems to be working. The threat of sending Kamala Harris has converted Taliban members into a respectful, resourceful, peace-seeking people. They plan on joining the G7 in due time.


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