It’s nice to finally hear some good news, and we got some late Tuesday. The leaders of the Taliban are insisting Afghanistan host the 2022 WNBA All-Star game to prove their newfound inclusiveness towards women.
“Bring them now to us,” a Taliban leader firmly said. “The jumping women who always bounce ball off foot–bring them here immediately.”
The press conference warmed American sports journalists’ hearts everywhere and the one guy who runs the WNBA from the back room of a New York drycleaners enthusiastically agreed to the terms.
“Yeah, let ’em host the [explicit] game. Whatever. Who gives a [explicit],” he said while fashioning what looked to be a noose.
With the All-Star game officially scheduled for Kabul in 2022, all that was left was convincing the players to attend.
“Wait a minute. You want us to play in Afghanistan? Don’t they hate Christians and wish death to America?” Palmdale Platypus center, Brittney Griner asked. “Of course we’ll play there! Absolutely! That sounds like our kinda place! Why don’t we have a permanent team there?”
Update: In another breathtakingly progressive act, the Taliban “will take” Megan Rapinoe too. “Yes. We take care of all pink hair women right away. Send them now. We show them social justice very quickly.”
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