WASHINGTON, DC — Fictional President Joe Biden has demanded the launch of a full-scale investigation to learn who raised the political temperature against “Russian Prime Minister Kamala Harris.” His team later clarified he meant former President Donald Trump. However, the details of his statement raised eyebrows. “Listen, Jack. I want a full report that explains…
Category: Trump
Health Update: Trump Back To Doing Push-ups With The Clap In The Middle
PALM BEACH, FL—America is rejoicing after hearing the news that Donald Trump, despite nearly being killed over the weekend, has fully regained his ability to do two hundred consecutive push-ups with the clap in the middle. The media, many of whom were praying his injured ear would result in some type of fatal infection, was…
Trump Rejects Obama’s Claim That Women Make Better Leaders Citing Most Women Have Cooties
MARTH’S VINEYARD, MA — After Michelle allowed Barack to speak at a conference on ‘becoming an alpha male,’ the former President commented that he believes women make better leaders than men. “Now, women, I just want you to know: You are not perfect. But those of you who are ferocious, feminist, fire breathing, liberal democrats……
Jill Biden Warns Hispanics Trump ‘Nacho Average Politician,’ And ‘Planning Hostile Taco-ver’
SAN ANTONIO, TX– First Lady and accomplished heart surgeon Doctor Jill Biden MD attempted to connect with Latinos Monday when she said they were as unique as “breakfast tacos.” “Hola, LaTinks, and LaTinlets! I hope you’re all feeling very.. uhh, como se dice.. tinky today!” She yelled to a confused audience. “I know 78% of you like the former President…
Rappers Who Once Praised Trump Receive Another 90-Day Extension From Mainstream Media Noticing
ATLANTA, GA– Another extension has been granted to all the rappers who were once friendly towards President Donald Trump. They now have 90 more days before the woke mob comes to destroy their lives. Their lives and assets were originally scheduled to be annihilated on Sunday. However, a DC-area judge accepted the extension request, which…