As the nation scrambles to learn what a short squeeze is, Joe Biden is also demanding answers. “You guys told me no one was allowed to short squeeze!” Joe was heard screaming in the oval office. “But now Robin Hood is running around squeezing the Reddit kids? You guys know how badly I wanted to…
Category: Biden
Biden: 'Coin-Operated Horsey Rides To Become Primary Source Of Transportation'
Joe Biden made headlines Friday when he explained that once his climate policies are fully enacted, the dominant source of transportation would be the coin-operated horsey ride. “Joe Biden has given this a great deal of thought. Nearly a minute,” Press Secretary Jen Psaki said. “And when you look at how clean, efficient, and frankly…
Joe Biden Condemns Stop-and-Frisk, Proposes The More Efficient “Frisk”
In an effort to not look like a dictator, Joe Biden is spending the day signing another 400 executive orders. And he’s particularly focused on tackling the stop-and-frisk issue. “I believe the practice of detaining, questioning, and molesting civilians is completely ridiculous,” Biden explained. “It’s classic bloated government. Why not skip straight to the fun…
Joe Biden Has Outstanding Week Of Going Potty In The Toilet
After a lot of good tries, Joe Biden was able to string together a banner week of going potty in the toilet all by himself, press secretary Jen Psaki announced. “As you can see, our great President is having an unparalleled run of competency of going potty,” Psaki said, pointing to a colorful graph. “Send…
Biden Throws Party As Hundreds Die Of COVID On His Watch
It sure was a disgusting display of non-leadership from Joe Biden on Wednesday. As hundreds of Americans were dying from COVID, the sorry excuse for a man partied and laughed. It was a callous and gutless way to begin his term and many are demanding answers. “Why?!” Screamed a DC-area nurse in between TikTok videos. …