CHAPPAQUA, NY– America’s favorite sweetheart, Hillary Clinton issued a helpful reminder for those concerned for the Ukrainian people. “Remember, the Eurekaians, or whoever, need cash. Tons of cash. And who better to funnel the funds to the right place than the Clinton Foundation?” the great beast said Thursday. “And if you’re writing a check, just write ‘pantsuit’…
Category: World & Weather
Biden Administration Brings In Industrial-Sized Fans To Make Hurricane Worse For DeSantis
WASHINGTON, DC — When it comes to unity, Joe Biden is on a roll. In a move that many in Washington are praising, the fictional President has offered to generously hurt the voters of Flordia. Using that classic Biden compassion, he has ordered industrial-sized fans to help Hurricane Ian become even more deadly. “If these…
Hurricane Ian's Racist Tweets Surface, Forced To Head Back To Mid-Atlantic
SARASOTA, FL– Americans knew it was a very ominous sign when Hurricane Ian began approaching the Ease Coast the way Rosie O’Donnell waddles towards a buffet table. Soon it was clear there was only one option left to stop the great storm: Ron DeSantis ordered his staff to dig through the Hurricane’s social media accounts…
Biden Calls Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-Like’, Reflexively Gives Him $82 Billion In Military Equipment
WASHINGTON, DC — Barack Obama’s greatest skill as President was showering the Taliban with riches. But over the years, it seems someone with beady little eyes was watching his every move. That is why shortly after Joe Biden called Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-like’ on his national address titled, Hitler? I Hardly Know Her, the fictional president impulsively sent $82 billion worth…
Hunter Biden Inadvertently Arms Ukraine By Leaving Numerous Guns Laying Around The Country
WASHINGTON, D.C.— Ukrainians are finding hundreds of Hunter Biden’s discarded weapons strewn about the frozen terrain—a telltale sign the president’s son had been there. “As always, this administration was wise enough to plan ahead,” Karine Jean-Pierre proudly said, finally able to paint one of Hunter’s war crimes in a positive light. “Because of the way…