As a show of their gratitude for turning on President Trump, Washington democrats all pitched in and bought John Bolton his very own nuclear warhead. “Why are you here? No comment,” a grumpy Bolton initially said as he saw several prominent Democrats gathered on his porch. But when he learned what they had brought him,…
Category: U.S. News
Sean Hannity Skillfully Persuades Hunter Biden to Washington to Take Witness Stand
It appears Sean Hannity, of all people, has masterfully persuaded Hunter Biden to travel to Washington DC. Even more shocking, the Fox News host believes he can lure Hunter all the way to the witness chair if given a clear path. “What can I say?” Hannity explained. “I guess I just have the magic dust—I…
Justice John Roberts Reminds Both Parties to Save the More Heated Discourse For Facebook
During the impeachment hearings, Justice John Roberts was forced to remind each party to save their more explosive fighting words for Facebook. “HEY! Don’t make me bring Kavanaugh over here! I can tell you some of that stuff the democrats accused him of is legit—so straighten up! All this nasty fighting needs to go where…
Only 17 Egregious Errors! James Comey’s Parents Proudly Hang IG Report On Fridge
James Comey’s parents, Joan and Brian were delighted to learn Inspector General, Michael Horowitz had officially recognized their baby boy’s terrific work. “Would you look at that,” Brian Comey said in awe as he taped the IG report to the refrigerator. “Only 17 egregious errors. This is some of Jim’s best work.” As Joan also…
Nancy Pelosi Reminds Press That if Any of Them Call Her Unstable She’ll ‘Rip Their Face Off’
On Thursday Speaker Nancy Pelosi reminded the press why none of them should ever call her “unstable.” “Because I’ll literally rip YOUR FACE OFF!” Pelosi screamed as she leapt forward to strangle reporter James Rosen. Thankfully her aids caught her mid-air before she could destroy him. “You see?!” Rosen yelled back. “This is what we’re…