As talks of impeaching Trump picks up steam, some of the right have warned that removing the duly elected President could lead to another Civil War. “Ridiculous!” Chuck Schumer told The Glorious American. “Another Civil War? I mean, half the nation fighting a literal war with each other? Could you imagine the blood? The news…
Category: U.S. News

Progressive Parents Threaten to Take 1 Year Off Earth’s 12-Year Habitability if Toys Not Picked Up
Progressive parents, Jeremy and Naomi Wright of Fresno, California have had it with their three-year-old, Evelyn. Reports are Evelyn will not clean up her toys no matter what new-aged tactic they try. “We’ve tried sending her negative thoughts, freezing her Rolling Stone subscription—everything!” said an exasperated Naomi.Finally, the Wrights made the shocking threat of removing…

Pete Buttigieg Pretty Sure It Was Mike Pence Who Caused His Vending Machine Mishap
During his stay at a Des Moines Hyatt, Pete Buttigieg felt he needed a snack before heading to bed. He made a quick stop to the vending machines and before he knew it, Vice President, Mike Pence had caused the Mayor’s M&M’s to become wedged against the glass, unable to fall down for retrieval. As…

Portland Gives Antifa An Official “Warning” After Burning Down Whole City
Antifa has been given its most harsh punishment to date. On Monday, Oregon Governor, Kate Brown issued the far-left group an official written warning after they burned down the whole city. “I know it seems over-the-top but two more warnings and they’ll be looking at a citation,” Brown said while stomping out some embers on…

White House Source: Trump Used Idea Of Buying Greenland As Distraction, Closes On Deal To Buy Moon
Last week, President Trump was the laughing stock of Washington after news leaked that he had made an offer to buy Greenland. As it so often is, the joke might be on Washington as multiple sources are reporting Donald Trump has purchased the Moon. It appears the President may have used his interest in Greenland…