Nutrisystem’s new meal plan for babies will be available in May, but the outrage is already here. “This is ridiculous,” said concerned mother Kelley Mills from Medford, OR. “I particularly despise the slogan ‘Because no one likes a chunky baby.’ That’s just horrible!” Dietary experts and pediatricians are warning against Nutrisystem For Babies because the…
Category: U.S. News
Veteran Father Returns Home, Surprises Daughter After Posing As Mrs. McAfee For Full Semester
It was a touching scene at Roseburg’s Fullerton Elementary School Monday when Sergeant Pete Spencer surprised his 10 year-old daughter Riley by returning home from his tour in Iraq. In a dramatic reveal, Sergeant Pete stunned Riley as he slowly took off the mask of Mrs. McAfee—the 84 year-old 5th grade teacher he had been…
School Bus Driver Reminded To Stop Drifting Into Drop Off Line
The Beaverton School District had to once again remind Bus 41 to stop drifting into its morning drop-off spot. Sources say long-time driver Chuck “The Clutch” Cote has been warned several times about this stunt. On Monday, Principal Barbara Horton personally assured concerned parents that Bus 41 would be coming to a safe, normal stop…
Portland Homeless Threaten Strike If Dietary Needs Aren’t Met
The homeless of Portland Oregon have officially threatened city officials with a strike if their dietary needs aren’t met. In a strongly worded piece of cardboard to Mayor Ted Wheeler’s office, their demands were made clear: “We are SICK AND TIRED of being handed breakfast sandwiches PACKED with carbs and sodium. We WILL NO LONGER…
Family Devastated By Raccoons’ 2-Star Review Of Their Trash
Brenda and Noah Heter were devastated to learn a pair of local raccoons left their trashcans a 2-star Yelp review Friday night. The raccoons also left a brutal paragraph that detailed the Heters’ shortcomings. “Probably the last time we eat at the Heters’ trash cans,” the raccoons wrote. “Most of their trash was stupid paper.”…