After the horrifying crimes of Jeffery Epstein were revealed Monday, the Clintons did the super normal thing by scrambling to a computer to quickly write a detailed account of what they didn’t know.
“What the waaaa?” Bill began the letter. “Jeffery WHO??” he continued on. It was then that Clippy, Microsoft’s virtual office assistant, knew he needed to step-in and help write the letter which would later be handed to the press.
“It looks like you’re trying to distance yourself from another sex predator,” Clippy said. “Would you like help?”
Reports are, the Clintons were thrilled Clippy appeared and quickly clicked “YES”.
Clippy, still a bit skittish after Hillary went after his friends with a hammer and bleach bit, remained a true professional and stepped in. “Last year it was Harvey Weinstein, today it’s Jeffery Epstein,” Clippy told The Glorious American. “The point is, when ol’ Bill and Hillary crack open Microsoft Word, it’s usually to avoid doing hard time.”
UPDATE: The letter was a hit and the press dutifully reported what Clippy had authored. As a bonus, Clippy managed to have the press report Epstein was not Bill’s close friend but actually Donald Trump’s.