Democrat presidential hopeful and media darling, Pete Buttigieg, has vowed to completely cure Turkey Neck if elected.
This follows the pattern set by Joe Biden who promised to cure cancer if elected.
“Curing cancer will probably get all the headlines,” Mayor Pete said. “But if you or a loved one has suffered from looking like a ridiculous turkey, you’d know this is equally important.”
“The cure for Turkey Neck is all that’s left,” a Democrat strategist remarked. “The Democrats have literally promised voters everything else.”
As Mayor Pete was leaving a campaign event, members of the press asked why he wouldn’t just tell Americans the cure for Turkey Neck. “I will tell them once I’m sworn in!” an angry Buttigieg shouted. “And if I’m not elected? Gobble gobble, mother [explicit]” he said before slamming the car door.