This morning while the White House was setting up for the time-honored turkey pardoning ceremony, the turkey slated to be spared had some cleaning up to do. Sources tell The Glorious American that the turkey having his life spared is named Butters and is a registered Democrat. Even more damning, Butters has done his fair…
Category: U.S. News
Debate Recap: Democrats Show Renewed Commitment to Unify the Far-Left and the Super-Duper Far-Left
Over forty-two people watched the most recent Democratic debate and The Glorious American made sure our least tenured journalist was one of them. Here are all the details you need for tomorrow’s water cooler talk: For the bargain price of $200k per hour, MSNBC allowed Hunter Biden to operate camera 9 for the evening’s…
12-Year-Old Bernie Sanders Once Convinced Kids Cleaning His Room Should be a “Community Effort”
The Glorious American has uncovered a remarkable story about a young Bernie Sanders. In the summer of 1953, a 12-year old Bernie Sanders persuaded roughly a dozen neighborhood kids to clean his room. “Oh yes. I’ll never forget little Bernie standing on stage waving his arms all over,” said our source who wishes to remain…
Democrats Disappointed to Learn Obama is Russian Agent After He Challenges 'Woke' Culture
Understandably exhausted from spying on the Trump campaign, Former President Barack Obama has mostly stayed out of the spotlight lately. However, last week Obama shocked Democrats as he basically admitted to being a Russian agent by questioning the effectiveness of cancel culture. While speaking at an event for his foundation, Obama explained: “The world is…
Mitt Romney's Dog Disappointed and Shocked at How Hero Dog Conducts Himself
The Special Operations K-9 who helped in the killing of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has been nicknamed “Hero Dog” and is being praised by almost everyone. Yet in the wake of Hero Dog’s positive press, Mitt Romney’s outspoken dog, Poof, is not impressed. “Pffff. What’s the big deal?” Poof snarled. “Look, I think it’s good that…