The Glorious American has uncovered a remarkable story about a young Bernie Sanders. In the summer of 1953, a 12-year old Bernie Sanders persuaded roughly a dozen neighborhood kids to clean his room. “Oh yes. I’ll never forget little Bernie standing on stage waving his arms all over,” said our source who wishes to remain…
Category: U.S. News
Democrats Disappointed to Learn Obama is Russian Agent After He Challenges 'Woke' Culture
Understandably exhausted from spying on the Trump campaign, Former President Barack Obama has mostly stayed out of the spotlight lately. However, last week Obama shocked Democrats as he basically admitted to being a Russian agent by questioning the effectiveness of cancel culture. While speaking at an event for his foundation, Obama explained: “The world is…
Mitt Romney's Dog Disappointed and Shocked at How Hero Dog Conducts Himself
The Special Operations K-9 who helped in the killing of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has been nicknamed “Hero Dog” and is being praised by almost everyone. Yet in the wake of Hero Dog’s positive press, Mitt Romney’s outspoken dog, Poof, is not impressed. “Pffff. What’s the big deal?” Poof snarled. “Look, I think it’s good that…
Democrats Insist Talks of a Civil War Are Ridiculous, Sell Naming Rights to T-Mobile Just in Case
As talks of impeaching Trump picks up steam, some of the right have warned that removing the duly elected President could lead to another Civil War. “Ridiculous!” Chuck Schumer told The Glorious American. “Another Civil War? I mean, half the nation fighting a literal war with each other? Could you imagine the blood? The news…
Progressive Parents Threaten to Take 1 Year Off Earth’s 12-Year Habitability if Toys Not Picked Up
Progressive parents, Jeremy and Naomi Wright of Fresno, California have had it with their three-year-old, Evelyn. Reports are Evelyn will not clean up her toys no matter what new-aged tactic they try. “We’ve tried sending her negative thoughts, freezing her Rolling Stone subscription—everything!” said an exasperated Naomi.Finally, the Wrights made the shocking threat of removing…