SAN FRANCISCO, CA – It appears Donald Trump has gone too far again after reports surfaced that Paul Pelosi got pounded by his gay lover’s hammer. Paul’s boyfriend and popular bay area nudist, David DePape, also struck the speaker’s husband with a tool, reports confirm. When police arrived on the scene, the two homosexuals were…
Category: Trump
‘I’ll Handle This!’ Ray Epps Yells After His Favorite President’s Home Gets Raided By FBI
WASHINGTON, DC— On behalf of all Republicans, legitimate Trump supporter, Ray Epps has offered to charge the FBI offices in a rage-filled act of revenge. “Don’t worry! I’ll handle this, you guys! Tomorrow, I’ll go INTO the offices and fix this!” he yelled to several random guys. “I’ll go because I’ve got a reserved parking…
Long Gas Lines Give Jonah Goldberg Extra Time To Complain About Trump’s Mean Tweets
“A true blessing from our wonderfully legitimate President Biden.” That’s what never-Trumper, Jonah Goldberg called his 190-minute wait in line for gas on Tuesday. While many were annoyed at the huge wait, the disgraced columnist used the extra time to fine-tune some criticisms of President Donald Trump. The wait times have been so long, Goldberg,…
Brilliant: Donald Trump Ends All Talk Of Vaccine Passports By Endorsing It
It looks like we can all thank Donald Trump for ending the vaccine passport idea after the former President released the following statement on Sunday: “Because the loser Democrats are getting awfully excited about this whole vaccine passport thing, I feel it’s time I tell the whole world what I think. And I think…
Millions Drop Dead After Viewing Trump’s CPAC Speech
In what’s being called the most troubling footage since Elizabeth Warren’s ‘I’m going to get me a beer’ video, Donald Trump’s CPAC speech has left millions of viewers dead. CNN broke the startling news but has yet to confirm any actual deaths. “We’re going with our gut on this one,” CNN’s Brian Stelter said.…