On Wednesday, top pharmaceutical salesman, Anthony Fauci, testified before the Senate about a little-known virus called “COVID-19”. Dr. Rand Paul was particularly anxious to ask the small creature why people who took his vaccines only seem to have immunity for thirteen minutes before promptly getting the disease. “Well, quite frankly, Doctor–if that is your real…
Category: Health
CDC Announces Temporary Moratorium On The Taliban Being Mean
The CDC is issuing a new, “temporary” moratorium on the Taliban being mean. Particularly towards Joe Biden. The moratorium came after the Taliban caused so much death and devastation, that Kamala Harris only laughed at the situation for a mere six minutes. Sources say Joe Biden has been so rattled by the violent group’s bullying, he’s been forgetful,…
The Babylon Bee To Require Full Vaccinations Before Reading Articles
The Babylon Bee announced Monday that it would require all fans and Snopes fact-checkers to be “100% vaccinated” two weeks before clicking on any of their articles. “We don’t want a bunch of unclean thumbs scrolling around on our site,” CEO, Seth Dillon said. “We know our demo very well. If there was ever a bunch that…
Man Who Replaced All His Blood With Vaccine Liquid May Need Booster Shot Fauci Says
Using a series of turkey basters, funnels, and a bicycle pump, a Boston area man had all his blood drained from his body. It was then refilled with pure Johnson & Johnson vaccine liquid. Because pharmaceutical companies do not reap any profit from blood, many are predicting hemadrainaswapectomies will become more common. “There’s a name…
Unsafe: Jeffrey Epstein Spotted Not Wearing Mask At Obama Party
You can understand why Jeffrey Epstein might be a little skittish about putting a mask around his head. The man once died when a blanket broke his nine-inch fall, for crying out loud. But we are in the middle of a vicious pandemic that’s totally not fake. So after a maskless Epstein was spotted wandering around Obama’s…