On Wednesday, top pharmaceutical salesman, Anthony Fauci, testified before the Senate about a little-known virus called “COVID-19”.
Dr. Rand Paul was particularly anxious to ask the small creature why people who took his vaccines only seem to have immunity for thirteen minutes before promptly getting the disease.
“Well, quite frankly, Doctor–if that is your real name. It’s because someone within a 200-yard radius didn’t wear a mask!” Fauci sneered. “And when you think about it, a real vaccination rollout has never truly been tried.”
Peering over the desk the hobbit continued.
“I mean, maybe some Scandinavian countries got close–but they had Vikings, who were a historically submissive bunch. All America had for our rollout was a $16 billion PSA budget, every single corporation demanding it, and everyone who opposed the vaccine banned from society. You see? No real chance!”
Unfortunately for Fauci, he rambled on for far too long. His vaccine wore off, he caught COVID and had to be rushed to a massive fundraiser for Nancy Pelosi.
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