You can understand why Jeffrey Epstein might be a little skittish about putting a mask around his head. The man once died when a blanket broke his nine-inch fall, for crying out loud.
But we are in the middle of a vicious pandemic that’s totally not fake. So after a maskless Epstein was spotted wandering around Obama’s birthday bash, the Internet erupted with conspiracy theories.
“Wait a minute. I thought Jeffrey Epstein was DEAD serious about this virus,” wrote a confused Greg Gutfeld on Twitter. An astonished Ben Shapiro wrote: “Jeffrey Epstein not wearing a mask? What is he trying to do? Kill himself?”
As the political pundits’ questions grew louder, Epstein’s old friend, Barack Obama began trying to calm everyone down.
“Alright guys, leave Jeff alone. He can’t be all that bad. Over the decades, hundreds of strong, powerful men have gathered to chill with him. I still can’t figure out why I was never invited,” said Barack. “Regardless, Michelle always seemed to have fun on his jet, so I won’t sit here and have his good name soiled.”
Update: Sadly, the party was just too much for Epstein and he died again while playing a game of heads up, seven up.
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