WASHINGTON, D.C.–The Harris campaign is now selling the popular ‘Inflation is a myth’ hoodie on their website gift shop, and it only costs $289. Despite their rich history of being unaware of things, Democrat shoppers have actually noticed the large price tag. The White House was forced to release the following statement regarding the sweatshirt: “Some have…
Category: Economic
Bidenomics: Car Considered Totaled After Running Out Of Gas
Riverside, CA – After a small, gas pump-shaped light appeared on his dashboard, a California man knew his car had been totaled. “No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO! Seriously?!” long-time Democrat voter Doug Perry yelled as he rolled to a stop. “$14,000–down the drain! My TV never told me gas would be more expensive under Joe Biden!”…
Unemployment Office Makes Generous Counter Offer To Keep Citizen Away From Private Sector
OHIO — Moments after Cincinnati’s Troy Olson finally landed a job offer from Quality Drywall Co., he headed down to his local unemployment office to discontinue his benefits. But, per Biden’s policy, his agent made him a generous counteroffer. “No way, silly. We won’t lose you to those entitled jerks over at the private sector!” his agent,…
Democrats Pretty Sure You Can’t Buy Love, Propose A 13% Tax On It Just In Case
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Some curious news came out of Democrat circles this Valentine’s Day. Apparently, the party has reluctantly conceded that love is not capable of being taxed. However, they are proposing a 13% tax rate should that ever change. “Listen, I’m a huge believer in love, in theory,” Schumer began. “In fact, I hope someday legislation…
GOP Win: Budget Deal Reached Without Fully Funding Liposuction For Overweight Raccoons
WASHINGTON, DC — In what’s being called a massive win for conservatism, Liberal Mike Johnson was able to pull off the rare feat that only the 452 previous Speakers managed to do. He raised that pesky debt ceiling. “I believe our urban friends call it ‘raising the roof?’” a cocky Johnson said to mostly Democrats…