With news that Kamala Harris dropped out of the race, the six Democratic presidential candidates for the next debate will all be white. Dangerously white. “If you absolutely must watch the remaining Democratic debates, please protect your retinas and skin,” Doctor Jacob Campbell is sternly warning. And Dr. Campbell isn’t alone. Apparently, medical professionals are…
Category: Breaking News
Joe Biden Reassures Dems He’s Still Got it by Sharing Story of Young Kids Rubbing His Hairy Legs
It’s easy to forget just how skilled a politician Joe Biden is. There’s no doubt ol’ Joe and his campaign have been feeling President Trump’s momentum. Candidates like Michael Bloomberg jumping in the race was also a not-so-subtle sign the Biden campaign was in trouble. So these desperate times called for the silky smooth-talking only…
Hearing Billionaires Can Buy Elections, Michael Bloomberg Seen Looking for Someone to Take Payment
Multiple sources are reporting Michael Bloomberg has been wandering a New York shopping mall, holding out his American Express card looking for where he can buy the 2020 presidential election. Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren have been repeatedly warning about how easy it is for billionaires to “buy an election.” And while Bloomberg can appreciate…
Republicans Dominate Impeachment Hearings After Yielding All Their Time to The Rush Limbaugh Show
On Wednesday, House Republicans dominated the impeachment hearings after making the decision to pool all their time together and yield it to America’s Anchorman. When it came time for Republicans to cross-examine, Devin Nunes quickly reached under his seat, grabbed a portable radio and set it on the table. “Yes. We’re right on time,” he…
Debate Recap: Democrats Show Renewed Commitment to Unify the Far-Left and the Super-Duper Far-Left
Over forty-two people watched the most recent Democratic debate and The Glorious American made sure our least tenured journalist was one of them. Here are all the details you need for tomorrow’s water cooler talk: For the bargain price of $200k per hour, MSNBC allowed Hunter Biden to operate camera 9 for the evening’s…