RIO GRAND CITY, TX –The disappointments keep on coming for Pete Buttigieg. First, he’s told to go play with trains when he actually wanted to be America’s queen bee, and now it seems he’s missed all the whippings going on at the border. “Yes, excuse me, good sir? I was delighted to hear you’re handing…
Category: World & Weather
Biden Vows To Have Grammys Hosts Make Fun Of Russia If They Strike US With Nuclear Weapon
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the world inches towards World War III, fictional president Joe Biden is flexing his muscles. “Listen fat, ol’ Plad drops a Nuke on us, he’ll feel the heat!” Biden yelled to the press while walking towards Marine One. Since most of the press assumed “the heat” was a reference to Joe’s…
Mitt Romney Claims To Have ‘Binders Full Of Proof’ Tucker Carlson Doesn’t Want To Have World War III
SALT LAKE CITY, UT– Mitchell Demetrius Romney, fresh off torching a Walgreens with his BLM homies, approached the media Monday, claiming to have proof Fox News host, Tucker Carlson wants to prevent World War III. “I’m not gonna tell you my source for this because Adam Schiff said he would never speak to me again, but…
White House: Vladimir Putin Pooped Joe Biden’s Pants, Likely To Reoffend
Washington, D.C. — Lately, America is learning the depths of Russia’s wrongdoings all over the place. On Thursday, Jen Psaki revealed that seventeen intelligence agencies have confirmed that it was Vladimir Putin who was responsible for pooping Joe Biden’s pants while visiting the Vatican. “Russia, in perhaps their stinkiest crime to date, purposefully soiled our…
Report: White House Considering Digging Through Putin’s Old Tweets To Get Him Fired
WASHINGTON, D.C. — High-ranking White House officials have quietly discussed ‘Operation Bluebird’ as a last resort to ending the (social) life of Vladimir Putin. Operation Bluebird is said to be the extreme tactic of digging through Vladimir Putin‘s old tweets to see if he has ever said anything naughty. “If Putin ever tweeted something like…