WASHINGTON, D.C. — High-ranking White House officials have quietly discussed ‘Operation Bluebird’ as a last resort to ending the (social) life of Vladimir Putin.
Operation Bluebird is said to be the extreme tactic of digging through Vladimir Putin‘s old tweets to see if he has ever said anything naughty.
“If Putin ever tweeted something like ‘I like Dr. Seuss’ or ‘I agree with math’, we could obliterate him, and he would be forced to quit in hours,” General Mark Milley told CNN. “The Russian culture produces mentally weak people, we assume. Putin would just die if, say Obama was critical of him, probably.”
Vladimir Putin does have a Twitter account. His handle is @MoreLikeMykraine, and surprisingly, there are a ton of pictures of blackface.
“Unfortunately, the blackface pictures are of Justin Trudeau, Ralph Northam, Jimmy Kimmel, and Joy Behar,” Jen Psaki admitted on Friday. “We desperately want to find horrible dirt on Putin very badly. I speak for all Democrats when I say; we haven’t craved such blatant racism this badly since around 1863.”
Update: Vladimir, who seems to know U.S. officials are monitoring his Twitter account, keeps retweeting YouTube clips of Joe Biden saying the n-word and Obama missing twenty-two straight basketball shots.
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