On Monday Hillary Clinton told the ladies of The View that after a great deal of thought, My Pillow CEO, Mike Lindell, was also a Russian agent. “Absolutely nowhere in the My Pillow commercial does Mike say he won’t sell to Russians,” the twice-failed Presidential candidate explained. The ladies of The View seemed a bit…
Category: World & Weather
Gen. Mark Milley OUT After Tipping-Off Girl Scout Troop Joe Biden Was Coming
Mark Milley was immediately fired after an explosive report revealed the General tipped off a D.C. area girl scout troop that Joe Biden was on his way. “At dawn, I want him shot, hung, sniffed, misgendered, and hung,” a stern Biden said, boiling with rage. “In my two hundred years of public service, I’ve never…
Biden: ‘I Don’t Care How Many Families I Have To Drone, I Will Look Tough!’
Ever since ISIS landed their big sponsorship deal with Kellogg’s cereal, ‘ISIS-K’ has been acting super cocky. It’s making our fictional president look weak and he’s had enough. So two weeks ago Joe Biden decided to endear himself to the compassionate left-wing by randomly blowing up an innocent family. “My poll numbers are dropping faster…
CDC Announces Temporary Moratorium On The Taliban Being Mean
The CDC is issuing a new, “temporary” moratorium on the Taliban being mean. Particularly towards Joe Biden. The moratorium came after the Taliban caused so much death and devastation, that Kamala Harris only laughed at the situation for a mere six minutes. Sources say Joe Biden has been so rattled by the violent group’s bullying, he’s been forgetful,…
Biden Clarifies: When I Said ‘America’s Back’ I Meant That’s Literally All You’d See As We Ran
After days of searching for a media member who was on Joe Biden’s level of competency, The White House finally found ABC’s George Stephanopoulos and allowed him to interview the fictional President. “President Biden, when you left large swaths of American citizens for dead, was that even poll-tested beforehand?” Stephanopoulos asked. “That was four days…