Mark Milley was immediately fired after an explosive report revealed the General tipped off a D.C. area girl scout troop that Joe Biden was on his way.
“At dawn, I want him shot, hung, sniffed, misgendered, and hung,” a stern Biden said, boiling with rage. “In my two hundred years of public service, I’ve never seen this level of betrayal. Therefore, I have even considered firing him. And as you know, no member of the federal government has been fired in the history of our nation. That’s how serious an offense this was.”
The chilling transcript of the General’s treasonous phone call is as follows:
Milley: “Listen. I must whisper this because I’m in the White House, but we’ve got a code sniff. I repeat–a code sniff.”
Troop Leader: “F***! How long do we have? We’re only a five-minute drive from you. F***! Oh, sweet f***! It’s happening. I can’t [inaudible] the moldy old [inaudible] bastard!”
Milley: “Dammit! Get a hold of yourself! This is war! Joe said he wanted to leave right after he scolds Captain Crunch for wetting his bed, so you’ve got like four hours.”
Troop Leader: “I see. God bless you. I will shave all the girls’ heads and claim they’ve all become very ill like last time. But Mark—one last thing. Aren’t you worried you’ll be fired for tipping me off?”
Milley: “Are you kidding? They can’t fire me! My last name is too masculine!”
Update: Shortly before his execution, Mark Milley’s last words were:
“I stood in between Joe Biden and his love for sniffing small children. Now I understand what ‘white rage’ is.
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