KYIV, UKR– Since we’re told Joe Biden is a kind, grandfatherly type man, the fictional president is offering his classic warmth and comfort to the people in Ukraine. A transgender soldier has been sent to Kyiv to hold a large banner reading: ‘No More Mean Tweets!’ “I have given Ukraine a reminder that because of me,…
Category: World & Weather
As Punishment For Their Actions, Justin Trudeau Will Forbid Truckers From Receiving 6th Booster Shot
OTTAWA, Canada—Sometimes standing up for your beliefs comes at a cost. And that’s exactly what the Canadian truckers are learning after Justin Trudeau announced he would prohibit them from receiving the sweet, sweet healing of the sixth booster shot. “I’ve thought a lot aboot this horrible consequence, but it’s aboot time these mean men learn aboot…
Justin Trudeau Demands All Bears Be Scrubbed To Be Sure They Aren’t Polar Bears In Blackface
OTTAWA, Canada—As many predicted years ago, truck drivers are overthrowing the Canadian government. And, in a desperate attempt to remove that story from the spotlight, Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau demanded all brown and black bears be scrubbed so as to be sure they aren’t secretly Polar Bears wearing blackface. “I’m on record of hating blackface…
Biden Threatens Putin With Sending Over Thousands Of ‘Our Most Vaccinated, Pregnant, Woke, Diverse’ Soldiers
WASHINGTON, D.C.–If Vladimir Putin doesn’t shape up, Joe Biden is considering sending a few thousand of our military’s most vaccinated, pregnant, woke, diverse soldiers to Eastern Europe. Biden’s top military advisors (most of whom were former shift managers at Forever 21) warn that these elite fighters might be too much for the Russian army to…
Radical Islam Files Class Action Lawsuit Against FBI For Always Misrepresenting Their Goals
DALLAS, TX–Radical Islam has finally had it with the FBI purposely distorting their message and they’ve filed a class-action lawsuit against the organization. “What is this crap? We’re suing them because of headlines like this!” Abdul McDirkaDirka yelled holding up a newspaper that read: ‘Black Bearded, Dark-Skinned White Man With Thick Arab Accent Parrots Anti-Semitic Comments…