DALLAS, TX–Radical Islam has finally had it with the FBI purposely distorting their message and they’ve filed a class-action lawsuit against the organization.
“What is this crap? We’re suing them because of headlines like this!” Abdul McDirkaDirka yelled holding up a newspaper that read: ‘Black Bearded, Dark-Skinned White Man With Thick Arab Accent Parrots Anti-Semitic Comments He Probably Learned On Gab While Holding Jews In Mandatory Meeting.’
“It was a clear hostage situation, not a mandatory meeting, you idiots!!” McDirkaDirka fumed. “We’ll see them in court!”
As details of the lawsuit unfold, it seems Radical Islam is having great difficulty extracting payment from the FBI.
“We demanded 4 billion and they gave us the money in pallets in under an hour,” McDirkaDirka said. “We demanded high-rise condos in Minneapolis and the FBI already has the units ready with mints on our pillows. We asked for goats and they sent us to a live taping of The View. Something is very wrong with America’s FBI.”
Update: Upon hearing that progressives in our government were inappropriately accommodating a terrorist group determined to wipe all Israelis off the face of the Earth; the American Jewish community has vowed to only give Democrats 89% of their vote and not the usual 92%.
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