WASHINGTON, DC — Presidential candidates whose biological sex assigned at birth was male would be barred from competing in all future elections against biological females, Democrats proclaimed in a new bill. Early Monday, House Democrats authored H.R.8398, better known as the “Toss Out The Junk Act,” which they claim will make presidential results more…
Category: U.S. News
REPORT: Pennsylvania Car Accident Leaves Three Injured, Two Democrat Voters
BUCKS CO., PA – Early this morning, a multi-car accident happened in Bensalem Township, PA. The wreckage left three injured and two Democrat voters, the coroner informed at the scene of the crash. Eyewitnesses said a Pennsylvania Democrat election officials arrived in their blue minivan and poured onto the scene with their clipboards and little…
Harris Campaign Begins Selling 'But Did He Die?' T-Shirts
WASHINGTON, DC — Tired of Donald Trump garnering sympathy for being shot with guns, the Kamala Harris campaign has begun selling t-shirts that read, ‘But Did He Die?’ for $32. “With this shirt, we wanted to start a larger conversation,” a Harris handler explained in a rare press event. “Our side stands for love and…
Kamala Harris: ‘The Debate Stage Is No Place For A Debate’
PHILADELPHIA, PA — Presidential hopeful Kamala Harris brought things into focus on Tuesday night when she reminded Americans that the debate stage is no place for a debate. When Donald Trump accused her of trying to pack the USA with illegal immigrants tighter than a Chipotle Burrito, she stopped him dead in his tracks. “No. This…
Family Devastated By Raccoons’ 2-Star Review Of Their Trash
NEWHALL, CA—Brenda and Noah Heter were devastated to learn that a pair of local raccoons left their trashcans a 2-star Yelp review Friday night. The raccoons also left a brutal paragraph detailing the Heters’ shortcomings. “Probably the last time we eat at the Heters’ trash cans,” the raccoons wrote. “Most of their trash was stupid…