NEWHALL, CA—Brenda and Noah Heter were devastated to learn that a pair of local raccoons left their trashcans a 2-star Yelp review Friday night. The raccoons also left a brutal paragraph detailing the Heters’ shortcomings.
“Probably the last time we eat at the Heters’ trash cans,” the raccoons wrote. “Most of their trash was stupid paper.”
When reached for comment, the Heter family was naturally distraught. “You never want to see two stars,” Noah said, still visibly shaken. “All we can do moving forward is be better.”
The raccoons’ review also outlined how the Heter trashcans were difficult to knock over, and once they were tipped, the lack of meats and cheeses was apparent.
“We have three boys who clean their plates every night. That’s why we struggle to please the raccoons,” Brenda said. “But to help recover from that rating, for the next week, I’m setting aside a full herb chicken in lemon cream sauce, a wild rice side, and some white wine. It’s the least we can do,” she concluded.
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