WASHINGTON, DC — Presidential candidates whose biological sex assigned at birth was male would be barred from competing in all future elections against biological females, Democrats proclaimed in a new bill.
Early Monday, House Democrats authored H.R.8398, better known as the “Toss Out The Junk Act,” which they claim will make presidential results more equitable.
“Does anyone understand the acts Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris did to win the presidency? They each did horrible, unspeakable things!” a shaking Nancy Pelosi explained. “But each time a man so rudely did nothing but compiled over 300 electoral votes and BAM! He wins? That’s not Democracy, folks.”
The bill, unlikely to be passed by a GOP-controlled Congress, has since been watered down. House Democrats now simply demand no ‘orange’ man be allowed to compete in any Presidential run.
After Pelosi and key Democrat leaders spent all weekend drafting the Toss Out The Junk Act, they were happy to unwind by attending a lacrosse match between Wake Forest and Maryland.
“The Terrapins ladies have this 6’3″ dude–err, I mean woman who is kicking all the girls asses!” Elizabeth Warren was heard yelling. “Can you imagine the lack of awareness Woke Forest has thinking they can compete?”
Update: Following the ban, Democrats have agreed that Rachel Levine is their ace in the hole to challenge any future GOP female candidates.
[@DistefaD Contributed To This Article. Follow Him On Twitter!]
Give Us Story Ideas
