WHITE PLAINS, NY –The popular men’s haircare brand, Just For Men, has been labeled a vicious hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. In a recent wave of nationwide protests, a brave woman held up a sign reading: “More like, Just for Nazis!” The sign prompted the Biden administration to open up an investigation…
Category: U.S. News
Portland To Launch ‘Portland+’
PORTLAND, OR– On Monday, the city of Portland announced it would introduce a slightly more shitty replica of itself just outside the city limits. “We have acquired a large, family-friendly suburb of Beaverton that will soon be known as Portland+. But don’t you worry, we will be giving the people what they want: An exact…
CNN: 'No Two Planes Have Done More Damage To USA Than The Two Ron DeSantis Sent To Martha's Vineyard'
ATLANTA, GA – CNN is reporting that Ron DeSantis is claiming credit for the most destructive and dangerous use of two airplanes in the history of the United States. Using planes, the Florida Governor overnighted hundreds of Mexicans to Martha’s Vineyard, the epicenter of rising sea levels. It’s being called an obvious attempt to kill…
NEW: See James Comey's Series Of Motivational Posters
WASHINGTON, DC — This week, former FBI Director James Comey announced a line of motivational posters. “I’ve always been someone who can motivate the masses with my leadership,” said Comey. “I would say this project captures my two favorite things—giving great advice and my likeness being framed in large pictures.” The series will debut with…
Teachers: School Permanently Cancelled After Wolf Attacks Spike To .0002%
CHICAGO, IL — Safety comes first. And teachers are not safe if they’re being mauled by wolves while they try to explain long division to 7th graders. This common sense is why teachers’ unions across America have decided to permanently cancel school after a report shows wolf attacks soar to .0002%. The horrifying and surprisingly…