ATLANTA, GA – CNN is reporting that Ron DeSantis is claiming credit for the most destructive and dangerous use of two airplanes in the history of the United States.
Using planes, the Florida Governor overnighted hundreds of Mexicans to Martha’s Vineyard, the epicenter of rising sea levels. It’s being called an obvious attempt to kill these illegal immigrants via climate change 12,000 years from now.
“Tonight, we have forever been changed as a nation. For the first time in American history, a Republican used his power to actually do something that we don’t like. It seemed like only an hour ago, GOP politicians would just talk a big game on Hannity but do nothing,” Don Lemon said an hour after the event. “Tonight, my innocents died. And that makes what DeSantis did the most deadly aviation disaster involving two planes anyone at CNN can ever remember.”
“I’ll never forget where I was when I saw the first plane hit us with disgusting people,” Obama quickly wrote in his eighteenth memoir. “I remember thinking, I’ve been through enough since moving to Martha’s Vineyard. First, I get a bunch of monkeypox for no reason at all. Now, this? Then I watched the second plane hit the runway.”
Update: Minutes after the illegals touched down, observers saw biological woman Michelle Obama rip an iron fence post up from the ground and begin beating the migrants like a game of whac-a-mole.
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