Say what you will about Mitch McConnell, but the man has his finger on the pulse of your average American. On Tuesday, McConnell explained that Donald Trump is actually no longer popular because, “well, just turn on the news for goodness sake,” he said on the Senate floor. “If my memory serves, Donald Trump never…
Category: Trump
Trump Returns To Social Media With New 'Cancel Proof' Platform
Huge news in the social network world as Donald Trump has unveiled ‘MAGA Phone’, a new phone that allows conservatives to finally get their voices heard. The genius of the new handheld device is that it’s completely detached from the whiny Karens over at big tech. “My new phone will put the iPhone to shame,”…
Democrats Eye Free Impeachment With “Impeach 3 times, Get 4th One Free” Punch Card
Because the gears of government can be slow, an ‘Impeach 3 times, get the 4th one free” punch card was issued to the Democrats upon their taking of the House in 2018. Supreme Court Justice John Roberts suggested the idea for the punch card after Trump rudely but correctly pointed out that he had never…
‘Leave My Home Alone!’ Trump Sets Traps As Criminals Attempt Break-In
After everybody abandoned Donald Trump, the crafty billionaire was left all alone to defend his White House. After casing the joint for several years, two ugly criminals finally attempted to break-in. But the President was ready. First, Trump set-up a blowtorch over the east wing entrance of the White House. When the horrible woman tried to…
Trump Tricks Biden Into Conceding Election In Exchange For Jelly Of The Month Club Membership
The Democrats are in a panic after President Trump convinced Joe Biden to concede the 2020 Presidential election in exchange for a one-year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. “I’m a deal maker,” Trump explained as he nestled into his oval office chair for another term. “I told him, Joe, That’s the…