Because the gears of government can be slow, an ‘Impeach 3 times, get the 4th one free” punch card was issued to the Democrats upon their taking of the House in 2018.
Supreme Court Justice John Roberts suggested the idea for the punch card after Trump rudely but correctly pointed out that he had never read the constitution.
Since then, the Democrats have filed articles of impeachment over twenty-three times. Most of those attempts have failed (most notably their attempt to impeach for Trump’s failing to be a snappy dresser’), but they’re going to try one last time.
“We’ve only got a few more days!” Jim Acosta screamed on CNN. “This punch card is a great offer, and I’ll be damned if it expires like my Glamor Shots coupon did!”
As the Democrats file impeachment charges again, reports are they are fuming mad that the punch card suggests they can only impeach Donald Trump a total of four times.
“For the sake of our democracy, it must be a baker’s dozen,” an enraged Pelosi told The Glorious American. “I hate to say this, but this card limits my powers, and, therefore, it’s clearly racist.”