WASHINGTON, DC – Two-time election winner Donald Trump was indicted by a federal grand jury Wednesday for deliberately averting the Department of Justice’s task of framing him. The dramatic move came after Trump was given thousands of opportunities to commit actual crimes but refused. “Crime or no crime, we simply want him in jail. Is…
Category: Trump
New Biden Tweet So Puzzling Musk Forced To Revisit Free Speech Stance
SAN FRANCISCO, CA– Elon Musk and his new X team have been stumped so badly by Joe Biden, that they’ve been forced to revisit their stance on free speech. White House staff accidentally left the fictional president near a phone, and he tweeted something about his leg hair, Cornpop, and Trump’s ‘raven roar.’ “I must…
Donald Trump In Hot Water For Biden Not Caring About Hawaii Fires
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — It appears Donald Trump has gone too far again after reports surfaced that Biden went on vacation as Hawaii burned. “This wretched man just won’t stop, will he?” CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked his audience Sunday. “It’s a fact that Donald Trump never reminded Joe to care about the wellbeing of the Hawaiians—not at any…
Evidence Of Trump-Led Killer Bear Army At Capitol May Have Been Doctored
WASHINGTON, DC — House Democrats are being pressured to withdraw evidence in their case against Donald Trump after claims of his MAGA hat-wearing army of killer bears became disputed. The bears, impeachment manager Jamie Raskin explained, had been trained by Trump to attack anyone who supports mail-in voting and all lightweight losers. “Just look at this picture…
Democrats Pretty Sure President Trump is the Reason Why Their Fathers Didn’t Love Them
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Sunday, House Democrats stealthy added the following edit to one of Donald Trump’s articles of impeachment: “Failure to make our daddies love us.” When members of the media noticed this surprising addition, Pelosi reluctantly elaborated. “Well, it’s a completely undisputed fact,” the Speaker began. “When I was sitting across from the…