Andrew Cuomo has agreed to finally share the true nursing home death count, but there’s a catch. “You guys promise not to be mad?” the Governor asked the press in a sheepish tone. Out of the three-dozen New York reporters, two of them would not promise. So they were immediately stripped of their press privileges,…
Category: Studies & Science
Jeff Bezos Gets Brutal 2-Star Review As Amazon CEO
Amazon has canceled Jeff Bezos’ retirement party after their former CEO earned a pathetic 2-star review on his performance. Shortly after his tenure ended, over 200 million Amazon customers were sent the automatic email asking for feedback. Not only did Bezos get 2-stars, but many people also checked the boxes “He was a weird lizard…
Biden: 'Coin-Operated Horsey Rides To Become Primary Source Of Transportation'
Joe Biden made headlines Friday when he explained that once his climate policies are fully enacted, the dominant source of transportation would be the coin-operated horsey ride. “Joe Biden has given this a great deal of thought. Nearly a minute,” Press Secretary Jen Psaki said. “And when you look at how clean, efficient, and frankly…
Pelosi: '$600 Stimulus Checks Can Buy Up To Three Gourmet Ice Creams’
Do you remember when the government forbid you from earning a living during the last ten months? Well, it looks like help is on the way. Yes, your bank account will soon say $600.21 after congress recently approved a $32 Trillion stimulus package, of which 4% will go to struggling Americans. To explain just how…
Joe Biden Appoints Dominion Voting Machines To Handle All Metrics For His Presidency
In a touching ceremony, the media’s selection for President, Joe Biden, announced that the Dominion voting machines would be asked to handle all the metrics for his 25-day long presidency. “Economic numbers, COVID deaths, GDP—this little guy is going to tell me all the numbers we want to hear,” Biden said putting his arm around…