ATLANTA, GA — Last night, thousands of violent protestors tried to storm the CNN headquarters in Atlanta. For hours, law enforcement was able to hold them off. That was until long-time CNN anchor Anderson Cooper instinctively joined the fray. Minutes before leaping into action, Cooper was on-air dutifully reporting how loving and tranquil the protestors…
Category: Media & Tech
Vaccine Recipients Uneasy About Small Wire Leading To Bill Gates' House
MEDINA, WA — Many vaccine recipients have noticed a small wire connected to their arm from where the shot was administered. Even more peculiar, the wire leads into Bill Gates’ Seattle mansion. “Is this normal?” a concerned 67-year-old Helen Philips asked her nurse about the two thousand-mile-long blue wire. “Oh, here we go again. Another…
CNN fills 1 pm Slot With 'Good Morning Antifa'
ATLANTA, GA – Because over 90% of the Democrat party now identifies as criminally insane, CNN will soon debut “Good Morning Antifa” in an effort to earn their viewership. “CNN has always been a long-time supporter of Antifa,” President Chris Licht explained. “Even back when they called themselves the Ku K—err, when they were called…
Matt Walsh To Host Daily Wire New Year’s Eve Party That Will End At 7:45 pm
NASHVILLE, TN — Daily Wire host and walrus enthusiast Matt Walsh will be hosting a rockin’ awesome New Year’s Eve party for all subscribing members on December 31st. Naturally, Walsh has informed everyone attending that the fun will stop at 7:45 pm sharp. “At 7:43 pm everyone will stand up, grab their jackets, and head for…
Joe Biden Sleeps Through Entire Joe Rogan Interview
AUSTIN, TX– Many were surprised to see Joe Biden agree to appear on the high-energy, multi-hour Joe Rogan podcast, but few were surprised to see him sleep through the entire interview. Rogan, the king of podcasts, was not his usual confident self when Biden drifted off to sleep seconds into the show. “He’s here! Holy s***,…