MEDINA, WA — Many vaccine recipients have noticed a small wire connected to their arm from where the shot was administered. Even more peculiar, the wire leads into Bill Gates’ Seattle mansion.
“Is this normal?” a concerned 67-year-old Helen Philips asked her nurse about the two thousand-mile-long blue wire.
“Oh, here we go again. Another wild conspiracy theorist!” the nurse moaned. “There’s nothing out of the ordinary with this. Have you been watching Louder With Crowder?”
But Helen isn’t alone. Thousands of curious vaccine receivers followed their wire. Eventually, leading into the billionaire garage. And they’re demanding answers.
“C’mon, you guys, Microsoft started in a garage, and that turned out pretty great,” Gates told the angry group gathered at his house. “This is all just part of the plan—I mean, there’s nothing to see here!”
Mysteriously, after Gates made a few adjustments on a large computer, the crowd became very docile and relaxed.
“Wow. Why do I have an insatiable desire to abandon my Apple products and buy a SurfacePro X with a three-year Office 360 deluxe package subscription?” one person asked.
“I feel the same—but I also now hate all forms of capitalism except the goods and services offered by Microsoft,” another wired woman muttered, rubbing her temples.
A pleased Gates then confidently asked the crowd, “And you all like Kamala Harris now, right?”
A flood of “hell no’s” and “you gotta be [explisit] kidding me’s” were shouted back at the billionaire.
“Technology has only come so far,” a dejected Gates whispered in despair.
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