As Democrats fear their case for impeaching the President weakens, they are wasting no time formulating Donald’s next major scandal. On the very first day of the Trump Presidency, a focus group of white liberals brilliantly cooked-up the idea that Trump removed an MLK bust from the Oval Office. “Oh my word, that one was…
Category: Media & Tech
After 112 Takes and 6 Hours, Nancy Pelosi Finally Says, “No One is Above the Law!” Without Laughing
In what was supposed to be a 9 am press conference, Nancy Pelosi and her media partners were unable to wrap-up the Speaker’s impeachment remarks until late Tuesday afternoon. “It was a simple line!” CNN’s Jeff Zucker fumed. “All she needed to say was, ‘No one is above the law’ but she kept erupting into…
Biden Encourages Nation’s Youth To Get Campaign Updates Via Phonograph
It wasn’t a pretty scene in the first debate when Joe Biden tried to get Americans to text into his campaign. “And remember, go to ‘Joe 0330..uhh, 30..03303” Biden mumbled before nearly losing consciousness in confusion. “Ah, the hell with this fancy computer [explicit]!” Biden reportedly yelled to senior campaign members backstage. “Let’s keep it…
Attempting To Boost Ratings, CNN Has Nelly Sing “Hot In Here” During Climate Town Hall
Last week, during the ninth hour of CNN’s climate-themed town hall, the Democrats unleashed a secret weapon on the American people. When the program began dragging, Anderson Cooper asked the audience, “What do you guys think? Is it getting hot in heerrrrrrrrr?!” The confused and sleepy crowd sprung to life as sparks flew and loud…
CNN: Trump Floated Idea Of Using Nuke To Nudge Hurricane Towards Mexico
After word leaked from CNN that Donald Trump would consider using a nuclear bomb to redirect a hurricane towards Mexico, the President found himself needing to clarify his position late Monday. “Let me just say that the fake news CNN gave us a real beaut today,” Trump began. “I said, if we could use a…