, ,

Biden Encourages Nation’s Youth To Get Campaign Updates Via Phonograph

Biden Encourages Nation’s Youth To Get Campaign Updates Via Phonograph

It wasn’t a pretty scene in the first debate when Joe Biden tried to get Americans to text into his campaign.

“And remember, go to ‘Joe 0330..uhh, 30..03303” Biden mumbled before nearly losing consciousness in confusion.

“Ah, the hell with this fancy computer [explicit]!” Biden reportedly yelled to senior campaign members backstage. “Let’s keep it simple! Let’s get the kids to tune into the ol’ phonograph!” he explained.

The more campaign officials explained that the phonograph is an ancient record player that isn’t capable of transmitting information; the more Biden loved the idea.

“So, if someone, for example, were to begin talking and said something overtly racist, the phonograph wouldn’t pick it up?” Biden asked.

“That’s correct. It’s unable to record audio,” an official told the VP.

“PERFECT! This is the ticket!” Biden yelled holding his hand up for a high-five to no one in particular.