In what was supposed to be a 9 am press conference, Nancy Pelosi and her media partners were unable to wrap-up the Speaker’s impeachment remarks until late Tuesday afternoon.
“It was a simple line!” CNN’s Jeff Zucker fumed. “All she needed to say was, ‘No one is above the law’ but she kept erupting into laughter all day!”
“Let me be clear: No one is … mmmmmmmm … above the—blahahhahhhahahahah” She bellowed burying her head in her hands on the sixty-fourth take. “Ok. Ok. Ok. I can do this,” She said flapping her hands in the air.
Sources tell The Glorious American that not only was Speaker Pelosi struggling mightily to deliver the line, she was laughing so hard tears were running down her face forcing the make-up team to continually reapply.
“We eventually had to switch to a putty knife and a can of spray paint,” a makeup artist told us. “Pelosi cannot afford to lose any hydration. Frankly, it a medical miracle she’s still alive.”
After 112 takes and over 6 hours, Pelosi was finally able to deliver the line with a straight face.
Experts tell us in those 6 hours of filming, over 4,000 illegal aliens came across the border and registered for welfare. Also, Hunter Biden consumed over 20 grams of cocaine and was appointed CEO of General Electric in exchange for a generous tax exemption.
When alerted to these events Pelosi asked, “What’s your point?” in a cold and serious manner.