In an effort to not look like a dictator, Joe Biden is spending the day signing another 400 executive orders. And he’s particularly focused on tackling the stop-and-frisk issue. “I believe the practice of detaining, questioning, and molesting civilians is completely ridiculous,” Biden explained. “It’s classic bloated government. Why not skip straight to the fun…
Category: Law
Biden Orders Hamster Feeders Be Installed For National Guard
Order has been restored in the Capitol building parking garage after Joe Biden ordered hamster feeders be installed for the National Guardsmen. Also, as a thank you for risking their lives for our country, a large exercise wheel was assembled. The 45,000 troops were brought to DC to make sure Biden didn’t wander off before…
Trump Reclaims White House Using Eminent Domain
Well, that was fast. Using some clever court filings, Donald Trump was able to immediately reclaim the White House using eminent domain. As construction for “Trump Tower Swamp” begins, some MAGA hat-wearing city planners agreed that the White House property makes the most sense for a parking structure. The tower will be directly in front…
Lin Wood Pretty Sure This Cat Is In On The Whole Thing Too
Lin Wood is pretty sure he just discovered the true mastermind behind the deep fraud of the 2020 election. In a bombshell statement the attorney wrote the following: “We now know who was directing John Robert’s treasonous actions. It was Stella, my wife’s cat. This whole time he has been applying pressure on Mike Pence…
Don Lemon: ‘America Has Embarrassed Herself In Front Of CHAZ’
It’s been a rough few days for America. Thankfully, Don Lemon was there to help put things in perspective. “Rioting. Breaking things. Seriously? I, for one, demand to know where these unhappy protestors got the idea that these actions were acceptable,” a fuming Lemon said. “And to make matters worse, America has embarrassed herself in…