In an effort to not look like a dictator, Joe Biden is spending the day signing another 400 executive orders. And he’s particularly focused on tackling the stop-and-frisk issue.
“I believe the practice of detaining, questioning, and molesting civilians is completely ridiculous,” Biden explained. “It’s classic bloated government. Why not skip straight to the fun part? Why not just ‘frisk’?”
Noticing the press looked uncomfortable with this statement, Biden tried to lighten the mood by grabbing a reporter and massaging her shoulders.
“Heyyyy, lighten up, everybody. It’s me, ol’ Joe,” he whispered to the media.
At this time, Jen Psaki shooed Biden away while squirting him with a spray bottle. “NO! Bad Joe!” she yelled.
Once Biden was safely secured in the White House basement, Psaki tried to clarify his statement: “What Joe meant to say was he doesn’t believe any part of stop-and-frisk is appropriate for Americans. It was a totally awful practice.”
To the press secretary’s frustration, she and the reporters then clearly heard: “But we’re going to keep the frisk part still, right?!” through the air vent in the floor.
White House quickly found Biden, and eventually, his sedatives were administered.