With nearly all citizens being quarantined in their homes, doctors at the Mayo Clinic believe many married couples may engage in what the medical community calls the “hanky-panky”. If that truth wasn’t distressing enough, subsequent research is showing that this brazen act can commonly lead to the birth of a child. This means that in…
Category: Health
CNN Criticized For Hiding The Word “Update” In Bottom Line
Everyone who watched CNN yesterday had a feeling of great panic and hopelessness sweep over them as the network showed a chyron that read: “Trump asks coronavirus task force to give up.” “Oh, GRACIOUS NO!” Brian Seltzer screamed at the camera. “Would you look at what that says on the screen?! It basically says—Trump has sentenced the…
Trump Negative For Coronavirus, Media Asks Why His White Blood Cells ‘Have To Be White?’
President Donald Trump has tested negative for the coronavirus, according to a White House statement. However, members of the media pounced when the details of the report mentioned the President’s white blood cells. “Oh, I see,” quipped CNN’s Jim Acosta to the President. “Can Americans assume that your white blood cells are white as a…
Obama Tearfully Applauds Coronavirus For Making Everyone Look Unemployed
Last week, a tearful Obama praised the dreaded coronavirus for accomplishing something he tried his hardest to do himself: Make everyone unemployed. Technically, nearly all Americans have full employment. But as Obama put it, “Yeah, but they’re looking like I’d always hoped,” he said choking up with emotion. “Ya know, there’s takers and there’s…
Michael Moore: ‘Americans Need To Be Mindful Of Their Personal Health And Hygiene Like Me’
When a global pandemic hits, Americans know two things: One, buy all the toilet paper. Two, destroy your 401k by selling all stock in stable companies. But aside from those two bedrocks of truth, many Americans are left searching for answers. Michael Moore is here to help. Speaking at Detroit’s Mustard Stains Of America conference,…