In what many are calling overly generous, the Biden administration is mailing struggling Americans a 2’ x 3’ sheet of plywood in place of stimulus cash. With plywood only days away from becoming more valuable than gold, the decision might be a brilliant one. “Jen, why plywood? Why not give Americans regular dollars?” a reporter…
Category: Economic
Teachers: We’d Feel Much Safer Once We Get Our BMW 7 Series 750i
It seems our society continues to fail our most honorable heroes. In a recent press conference, the teachers unions reminded Americans they have yet to receive their complimentary BMW 7 Series 750i. “I know we’d all feel much safer once we get that car,” a representative said. “Unlike the private sector, some teachers are forced…
Now In Charge, Teachers Unions Take Over United Nations
After taking a stranglehold of the country, the teachers unions have naturally begun to guide the United States through international affairs. On Wednesday, four of the more ornery members of the Chicago school union addressed the United Nations. “Quiet down! Listen for your name and say ‘here’!” a teacher screeched before doing roll call with…
Biden: Minority Children To Learn About Inequity When Their Schools Open In Two Years
In only two years, underprivileged black and Latino children may or may not receive education, the Biden administration said on Tuesday. “But if they do get school, we’re going to teach them all about inequity,” Jen Psaki explained. “Sure, the private schools have been teaching phonics and math for the last year, but they’re wasting…
Jeff Bezos Gets Brutal 2-Star Review As Amazon CEO
Amazon has canceled Jeff Bezos’ retirement party after their former CEO earned a pathetic 2-star review on his performance. Shortly after his tenure ended, over 200 million Amazon customers were sent the automatic email asking for feedback. Not only did Bezos get 2-stars, but many people also checked the boxes “He was a weird lizard…