After taking a stranglehold of the country, the teachers unions have naturally begun to guide the United States through international affairs. On Wednesday, four of the more ornery members of the Chicago school union addressed the United Nations.
“Quiet down! Listen for your name and say ‘here’!” a teacher screeched before doing roll call with the nations. Despite the confusion, they banged the gavel and continued.
“We’re in charge now. Starting today, we’re funneling all the UN funds to where it belongs. The teachers unions!” they yelled. “As a safety precaution, no teacher will be within a hundred yards of a student. But we will show great diligence and determination in depositing our paychecks. Many people say we are heroes. That is not true. We are gods! Underpaid, gods! Got it?”
“Wait a minute, where’s Biden?” the Prime Minister of Norway stood up and asked.
The teachers then burst into uncontrollable laughter and had to gather themselves.
“Biden? You mean Joe Biden? You mean THIS guy?” they yelled while whipping a large sheet away, revealing a docile Biden tied to a chair with duck tape over his mouth.
The world leaders gasped. “What’s going on? I think he’s trying to say something!” Sweden yelled.
“He’s always trying to say something,” a teacher replied. “Here, I’ll take it off. Makes no difference.”
Somehow, Biden’s words were even less clear with the duck tape removed. But he eventually instructed the world to, “do as they say.”