This week, Colin Kaepernick gathered around reporters and explained that rich, white, mean men were holding him down. The sports community largely argued that Kaepernick wouldn’t win over any scouts with that entitled and demanding attitude. But the talking heads on ESPN were wrong. One scout was watching. Carefully balancing his head on an oddly…
Category: Breaking News
Socialist-Style Healthcare To Mandate Cures for All Diseases by Fall of 2021
Standing in front of a banner reading: “We MADE THEM do it!” Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez proclaimed they’ve mandated doctors to provide cures for all the diseases by the Fall of 2021. After the rally, members of the press asked Bernie how removing the profit motives from the medical community would accelerate the discovery…
12-Year-Old Bernie Sanders Once Convinced Kids Cleaning His Room Should be a “Community Effort”
The Glorious American has uncovered a remarkable story about a young Bernie Sanders. In the summer of 1953, a 12-year old Bernie Sanders persuaded roughly a dozen neighborhood kids to clean his room. “Oh yes. I’ll never forget little Bernie standing on stage waving his arms all over,” said our source who wishes to remain…
Despite Slow News Week, Brian Stelter Uncovers Bombshell Punctuation Errors In Trump Tweet
Your average journalist would have been discouraged by such a slow news week. But CNN’s Brian Stelter is not your average journalist. As President Trump was all riled up about something to do with ABC and NBC, Stelter was doing some deep investigative work. “What I discovered on Twitter was pretty extraordinary,” the CNN star…
Joe Biden Applauds Donald Trump’s ‘Perfect Form’ Hug in Rare Moment of Unity
It’s almost unheard of to hear pleasant words exchanged between Democrats and Republicans these days. However, that’s exactly what happened on Monday when Joe Biden saw footage of Donald Trump hug Washington Nationals catcher, Kurt Suzuki, from behind. “Textbook,” Biden admitted. “The pat on the back, the quick shoulder rub to relax the victim and…