DELAWARE – Move over Donald Trump. It appears we have a new iconic photo for the history books. Standing in front of the Pride flag, fictional president Joe Biden soiled his pants and slowly raised his fist. Once all cameras were pointed at him and photographers plugged their noses, Joe softly muttered, “Uhhh, f-f-f-fght, jack!…
Category: Biden
Joe Biden Offers To Hold Down Any Child Who Tries To Resist Vaccine Shot
WASHINGTON, DC– Fictional President Joe Biden has graciously offered to hold down any children who might get a little squirmy during their vaccine shot. During a Thursday COVID press conference, Dr. Fauci addressed concerns about the new vaccine. He mentioned that the hair growing on people’s palms is “probably normal,” and all children should…
Joe Biden Demands To Know Who Raised The Political Temperature Against 'Hitler-Like' Trump
WASHINGTON, DC — Fictional President Joe Biden has demanded the launch of a full-scale investigation to learn who raised the political temperature against “Russian Prime Minister Kamala Harris.” His team later clarified he meant former President Donald Trump. However, the details of his statement raised eyebrows. “Listen, Jack. I want a full report that explains…
Fresh Shipment Of Adderall To White House Suggests Biden Will Be President Another Week
WASHINGTON, DC — A massive delivery of Adderall to the White House has alerted the nation that Joe Biden will be President for at least another week. Biden, who pours the pills into a large popcorn bag and consumes them by the fistful, was joyful shortly after ripping into the shipment. “Good afternoon, friends and lovers!”…
BREAKING: Biden To Be Placed Into Medically Induced Coma Until After 2024 Election
WASHINGTON, DC—It looks like America may have seen the last of ol’ Joe for a while. Jill Biden announced Thursday that, in a totally normal strategic move, she has decided to place her husband under a medically induced coma until moments after the 2024 election is fortified. The decision came after Biden agreed to appear on…